Win tickets to see the smash hit musical Mamma Mia at the Roanoke Civic Center. Two winners will each receive four tickets!
Monday, April 15, 2013
The No Child Left Behind legislation has been a smashing success, especially so with the implementation of tests like the Standards of Learning (SOLs) in the nation’s school systems.
I modestly propose that this kind of governmental oversight be extended to protect citizens from predatory professionalism in other callings. These proposals are termed Standards of Professionalism (SOPs).
Of utmost importance to all citizens is where they will spend their eternities. A law entitled “No Sinner Left Behind” will satisfy this urgent need. Utilizing the principle of SOUSED (Save Our Unrepentant Sinners Everywhere Daily), government will ensure that the clergy save all sinners.
To motivate the clergy to work harder and more diligently at their appointed tasks, their salaries and benefits will be adjusted upward for how many sinners are saved, and if any sinners are left behind, the services of a person of the cloth will be terminated.
For the medical profession, a “No Patient Left Behind” law is indicated. With the catchy regimen of SOS (Save Our Sick), citizens will be guaranteed wellness. The motivating factor in SOS is financial, for doctors and hospitals will simply not be paid a fee for service for any patient left unhealed.
Lastly, a success rate of about 50 percent for winning legal cases in court is simply not good enough. Hence, “No Litigant Left Behind” will ensure courtroom success rates of 100 percent.
This is a win-win situation for lawyer and client, for both will be victors. In those few instances where a litigant is left behind, the reverse will obtain. A lose-lose dictum works here, for if the litigant loses, the lawyer loses lucre, too.
When the crystalline logic of No Child Left Behind in the teaching profession is applied as well to other professions, American society will step that much closer to the day when No Citizen Left Behind will become a reality.
Weather JournalStorm track isn't very snowy for us